More David Letterman

Top Ten Questions On The Northwest Airlines Pilot Job Application

10.How many sleep hours have you logged while flying?
9.Do you have any flight experience because if not, that’s totally cool
8.How many times have you safely landed a plane in a river?
7.Are you at the controls of an airplane right now?
6.Are you a cop?
5.Do you have a good attorney?
4.Name the jet engine that makes this sound: Pssshhhhhheeewwwwwww!
3.Are you available for both take-offs and landings?
2.Besides “using my laptop” and “having a heated conversation” what other lame excuses can you come up with for falling asleep in the cockpit and missing an airport by 150 miles?
1.Are you drunk right now?

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